bloodofithuriel | (no subject)

Did Ragnor put you up to this? Or Magnus?

No, my eyeballs looking at my phone and seeing Dick's post put me up to it. Why?

Because the timing is suspect.
Because Ragnor can be a dick.
Because you weren't interested in this stuff before and I feel like I'm pressuring

Because it wasn't something you were interested in before I came around?

You weren't here then.

So you're only subjecting yourself to this because of me?

No thanks. I appreciate the thought though.

No, someone I loved and wanted to sleep with wasn't interested in it with me, or didn't bring it up with me, so I didn't try it. I don't know what I like until I try it and find out if I do. But I know you're interested so I want to at least know about it, even if it turns out I don't like all of it.

[ Okay Alec, way to make Jace feel like a grumpy little bitch. Good job. ]

If we go, are they going to make us DO things? In front of other people?

[Not his fault if you are one, Jace.]

I don't know, I can ask Dick if you want. But it's not a city mandated thing, it's run by people like us, so if they do anything we don't like or want to, we can just leave.

[ Yeah but he's your grumpy little bitch, so neener. ]

You really want to do this?

Only if you do.

I don't know if WANT to is the right word. But maybe if I go, people will stop trying to tell me I don't know what I'm doing or what I want like I'm an infant.

You're not an infant. You're new. People worry about you when you're new.

It's up to you Jace.

Yeah. Okay. We can go.
IF you promise to tell me if you're uncomfortable so we can leave, okay? Goes both ways.

I will. You too. I'll message Dick and get some details.

Deal. Let me know when.
Everything else going okay?

Yeah, I guess. I miss her, I hate that we don't know for sure she went home. Worried about Magnus. But mostly.

I'm sorry, my Alec. I miss her too. I wish we could have at least said good-bye.

I wish we could do something for him, to cheer him up somehow.

Yeah. Me too. She could come back, people do. But it's weird to not know whether or not I should hope for that. Just because I'm happier here doesn't mean she was.

Just don't let him spend too much time alone, it's all we can do I think.

I think the best we can hope is that she's happy where she is.

I mean, we can play Shadowhunter sandwich if you want? Not in a dirty way, I just mean, he seems to like body contact a lot, right?

Yeah. How happy were any of us really though? It's hard to tell now.

We can try, he might not let us in right away, but we'll see.

I don't know, Alec. I know she and Maryse had issues. But before I left, she was working with Max to get his rune, and she was enjoying the hell out of it, so.

We can be stubborn though. This is important enough to out-stubborn him.

Yeah.

We can't change anything there, but I don't really want him to be like us.

He might just need some time and talking to first, then we can.

Like us... how? Repressed as hell and hating ourselves? Or overly dedicated to the Clave until we learned better?

Well. You're the bigger Magnus expert here. And home, actually, but I'll follow your lead.

Both? And miserable, mostly.

I'm still learning too, Jace. But I saw him when he was upset before here.

I hope, if we take nothing else back. Even if we lose... us? That we don't lose the realizations about ourselves.

I know. I mean... I just mean you've known him longer here? Than I have. I'm still stumbling around trying to make sure I'm not bothering him.