bloodofithuriel | (no subject)

[ Jace doesn't point out that drinking unlabeled shots in a warlock's house was probably unwise even on a good day, but he shrugs a little. ]

You'll forgive him eventually though, yeah?

[ He pressed his lips together and stared down at the glass's contents for long moment and then shrugged uncomfortably. ]

I... don't know? I mean. This place is pretty screwed up, I've already had some weird stuff happen and I've barely been out there. Alec is acting weird as hell, and except for Clary, this city really doesn't seem to like Shadowhunters, if the marks are any indication.

The marks are arbitrary but for their society to remain tenable, there has to be more Submissives than Dominants. I would guess at least 60 percent of the population is Submissives.

[ He's eyeballing it, but he knows there are more Submissives, otherwise they would be a lot more Dominants without contracts. ]

[ Jace shakes his head a little bit. ]

They don't feel arbitrary. They feel... knowing.

[ He swallows, unconsciously running his fingertips over his own before he jerks his hand away and presses it over a proper rune mark on his wrist. More out of comfort than to activate anything. ]

Makes sense, I guess. Only way Magnus can manage to keep so many of us around, I guess. Dominants are supposedly in charge, so you'd only want so many of them throwing their weight around.

Jace, you will have to shed any shame regarding what you enjoy very fast in this city.

[ He spent decades at the Academy, but he never had to teach sex-ed. The Nephilim have always preferred their children repressed and unwilling to experiment.

Except the Herondales, he supposes, that line has always been special. But if he has his history right, Jace stepped out from abuse and was directly thrown in with the Lightwoods. ]

Alec is being weird because this city is hell. Plus, he's likely worried you'll judge him.

[ Jace goes pale and then blood red and takes a very long drink before he lowers the glass to scrub his hands over his face. ]

That's... easier said than done, Ragnor. I can't just switch a lifetime of hiding things off. Especially with my family here. Even with what little I've said, Alec's already acting like I'm some clone or alternate version.

[ It was annoying the hell out of him actually.

He scoffs. As if Alec had anything to hide compared to Jace, honestly. ]

He's my parabatai and my best friend. There's nothing to judge him for. Except for being an ass.

You are from further ahead in the timeline. Things happen very quickly once Valentine reappears.

[ Not that he was there for most of it, but he's heard the story, repeatedly, with various levels of exaggeration. ]

Alec and Magnus are both from before any of it. Not entirely sure of where Isabelle is, chronologically. My timeline is different enough from yours to be frustratingly confusing, but I am several years past the Mortal War.

[ Jace grimaced. That was certainly an understatement. ]

He's two steps ahead of us, every time. He can play me like a fiddle, which since he raised me, shouldn't be a surprise, right? I keep trying to prove I'm better than him, that I'm not what he thinks I'm fated to be, and I keep falling for every damn trap he lays, and dragging the people I love into it.

[ He rubs at his eyes for a second. ]

Is it bad I'm almost glad for a break from it? From worrying about his next move, where he's got the Cup and the Sword, how he's going to destroy everything? All it cost me is every secret shame I've kept hidden since I was old enough to get excited about cute boys and girls.

[ He tilts his head and looks wry. ]

Is this where you tell me spoilers would probably be a bad idea?

I can tell you what happened in my world, but there is no guarantee things will happen the same way in yours.

[ The parallels do seem too pointed for Jace to not be a Herondale, but that just means it'd be worse if Ragnor was wrong about it. He could be a Wayland boy, raise by Valentine. He could actually be Valentine's son.

Maybe in their world there is no Sebastian. Ragnor can't be sure and saying anything about it would be irresponsible at best. ]

The war will end, as all wars do. We ought to focus on the here and now.

[ Jace made a face. Ugh. Sage advice. The worst. ]

I hate to tell you this Ragnor, but you sound just like the Clave there for a second.

[ Jace rolled his neck a little and took another drink. ]

So not spoilers. Right. Okay. Our respective common-ish universes aside. How the hell do I survive this place without you or Alec or Magnus or Izzy getting caught up in the bullshit.

I did work for you Shadowhunters for decades, we must have rubbed off on each other.

[ This Jace is very close to the one he knows, but he's never been close to him. The Herondales he knew are all long gone. ]

Unfortunately for both of us, your family and Magnus are all very nosy people. You won't be able to keep them out of whatever you get up to. The Dominant who contracts you will be legally responsible for you, and if that ends up being Magnus, he will be invested.

[ He takes a drink too. He's not sorry he contracted Magnus, but there are downsides to Magnus feeling responsible for him. ]

You have time to meet other people, Magnus particularly has a large network. And you might feel safer with someone from a different world. There's less weight to it.

Luck you, I guess.

[ Jace's expression is wry. He's well aware of how ridiculously superior Shadowhunters can be around Downworlders. Even the ones they deem useful, like warlocks. ]

Ugh. They really are nosy. Even back home.

[ He sighs, the idea of Magnus being legally responsible for him, and possibly put in the line of fire if Jace fucks up, striking him hard. ]

Fuck. I trust him. I trust them. But I don't want them in trouble. Especially not after that...

[ He shakes his head. That hadn't been a great way to start his first full day anyways. ]

I don't want to put them at risk if I mess something up.

Someone will be responsible for you regardless of how you feel about it, and no one would want you to contract a Dominant you'd be okay with getting in trouble.

[ Ragnor can recognize that having Magnus as his Dominant has been an excellent deterrent for him, very much the main reason why he hasn't been in trouble with the city yet. ]

You don't have to have sex with your Dominant— Magnus and I don't. And I imagine looking the way you look, you won't struggle finding partners, so that part is covered, at least.

[ Angel. This shit was complicated. He felt like he was screwed no matter which direction he went. He stays with people he trusts, he could get them hurt. He goes looking for a stranger and he could end up hurt. He closes his eyes, trying to puzzle it out. Finally, he just sighs. ]

I don't know what to do.

[ He says it quietly, a little lost sounding. He doesn't want to BE here. He feels like he's just in the way, at best. Another burden at worst.

Jace scoffs. ]

Please. Sex with Magnus would not be a hardship. I'd just worry about Alec killing me. I just... Angel, this is stupid. This whole place is stupid.

[ This is a lot of information Ragnor isn't entirely sure of what to do with. He'd been hoping to talk to Magnus about Jace's family— potential family, but if Jace is open to sex, then Magnus' attachment to the Herondales would only complicate the whole love triangle further. He doubts Magnus would even entertain the idea of allowing Jace to contract someone else with the Herondale possibility on the table.

Hell, Ragnor himself is not entirely sure he's comfortable with Jace contracting a stranger. ]

You have time. Don't contract anyone for the time being, my own contract expires next month and we can revisit where everyone is standing then.

[ As far as Ragnor knows, not many Dominants have more than two Submissives. He has no idea if Magnus would be allowed to have four. But he's made enough friends, he could probably contract someone else and let Magnus handle his Nephilim. ]

This place is a nightmare, but you don't have to deal with it right now or by yourself.

[ Jace already has a huge identity crisis on his his hands. Still bound up in believing he's actually a Morgenstern, that he has demon blood, that he isn't really anything other than a traitor's puppet. More might break him. Or not. It's impossible to tell.

Jace laughs a little, even if it sounds strangled. ]

And hope I don't fuck up in the meantime, I guess?

No. I mean. It's nice to have... people who know me. Or think they know me? I don't know. It must be a lot worse to come here and not have anyone.

I might know you better— which is odd, we've never been close.

[ He's never been as attached as Magnus is, but they're still Tessa's family. It'd be hard not to care. ]

I taught Morgenstern at the Academy, I have a very clear idea of the approach he took to child rearing.

[ It's not a great way to tell someone 'I'm aware you were abused' but he's never been known for his tact, and he wants Jace to know Ragnor is safe to have a meltdown on. ]

[ Jace shakes his head a little. ]

Considering how I met you in my world, yeah, its odd. Considering I met you about five seconds before you died.

[ Jace grimaces. His father. Ugh. ]

It was a shitty approach. I know that now. I didn't then. I just... I did whatever he wanted, however he wanted, because I was so desperate for his approval. To be exactly what he wanted.

Hard to believe I'd be killed by Valentine's thugs.

[ His own situation was considerably more complicated, but it's nothing Jace needs to hear. ]

Is that why you think you landed as a Submissive? Because of Valentine's abuse?

[ Mincing words is also not something Ragnor is known for. ]

[ Jace grimaced. It hadn't been pretty and it'd been so fast. Magnus had been so devastated. ]

I think it was a surprise all around.

[ Jace blinked and reared his head back, the surprised startlement on his face saying that no, that hadn't even crossed his mind. It certainly was NOW, however, and he made a complicated face of disgust and exasperation. ]

No? I mean. That's not why I think it happened anyways.

You did say it didn't feel arbitrary.

[ It's not an accusation. Or judgment, really. Ragnor likes being of service to others, meeting expectations, feeling like he's done a good job. He doesn't see anything wrong with it. ]

[ Jace gives Ragnor a long look, clearly struggling with either how much to say, or whether to say anything at all. He humms under his breath and twirls the glass in his hand on the bartop, without saying anything for a long moment. ]

I don't know if it's the same in your version of our world, but same-sex relationships between Shadowhunters isn't ... encouraged. It's not wrong, or immoral, but it doesn't breed more Shadowhunters. Messing around with the Downworlders is one thing, but again, that dilutes bloodlines.

[ He makes a face at the last word, making it clear what he thinks of that particular mindset. ]

I always thought that... the things I liked? The reasons why I liked them, was because I was... deviant. Wrong. Twisted. Perverted. Whatever word you want to use. Now I figure, well, it's just the demon blood, and yeah, maybe the Morgenstern blood coming to the fore.

[ He tipped the glass back and finished the last of the liquor inside of it, putting it back on the bar with a clink of sound. ]

So waking up here. Finding the mark on my throat. Just seemed like I'd finally been put somewhere I belonged. Where I'd get exactly what I'd thought I'd wanted, and hid from all these years. I just... didn't expect to have an audience of my most loved here to see it.

[ Ragnor frowns as he listens to Jace speak. Not surprised, that goes very much in line with the kind of rubbish Nephilim are fed from birth. ]

Do you believe all Downworlders to be twisted? [ It's a rhetorical question, he knows Jace doesn't, at least not consciously, and he's not trying to untangle a lifetime of being raised in a prejudiced society right now. ] Because I assure you, there is more demon blood in any of us than there is in you.

[ Valentine's lies aside, and if Jace is a Herondale, he does actually have some demonic heritage. The Jace he knows has golden eyes, the only leftover from his demonic ancestor. ]

[ Jace blinks at that and then sighs, and frowns. ]

No. No, I don't. Which means it's just me, actually. I don't believe that stupid crap about Downworlder's being naturally evil.

[ That doesn't help, in fact it just makes him feel worse about it, but that isn't Ragnor's problem. ]

Do you think Alec is twisted?

[ Seeing how Alec is dating a Shadowhunter, has settled in with a Downworlder, and has the same Submissive mark Jace does.

Ragnor knows he can't always trump feelings with logic, but identifying a toxic mindset can be the first step to addressing it. ]

[ Jace actually rolls his eyes at that, snorting in amusement at the idea. ]

Of course not. That self-sacrificing idiot. He's living with Bane in my world, you know? They're practically engaged at this point, really. I'm not surprised they gravitated towards each other here, either.