bloodofithuriel | (no subject)

[ This is a lot of information Ragnor isn't entirely sure of what to do with. He'd been hoping to talk to Magnus about Jace's family— potential family, but if Jace is open to sex, then Magnus' attachment to the Herondales would only complicate the whole love triangle further. He doubts Magnus would even entertain the idea of allowing Jace to contract someone else with the Herondale possibility on the table.

Hell, Ragnor himself is not entirely sure he's comfortable with Jace contracting a stranger. ]

You have time. Don't contract anyone for the time being, my own contract expires next month and we can revisit where everyone is standing then.

[ As far as Ragnor knows, not many Dominants have more than two Submissives. He has no idea if Magnus would be allowed to have four. But he's made enough friends, he could probably contract someone else and let Magnus handle his Nephilim. ]

This place is a nightmare, but you don't have to deal with it right now or by yourself.

[ Jace already has a huge identity crisis on his his hands. Still bound up in believing he's actually a Morgenstern, that he has demon blood, that he isn't really anything other than a traitor's puppet. More might break him. Or not. It's impossible to tell.

Jace laughs a little, even if it sounds strangled. ]

And hope I don't fuck up in the meantime, I guess?

No. I mean. It's nice to have... people who know me. Or think they know me? I don't know. It must be a lot worse to come here and not have anyone.

I might know you better— which is odd, we've never been close.

[ He's never been as attached as Magnus is, but they're still Tessa's family. It'd be hard not to care. ]

I taught Morgenstern at the Academy, I have a very clear idea of the approach he took to child rearing.

[ It's not a great way to tell someone 'I'm aware you were abused' but he's never been known for his tact, and he wants Jace to know Ragnor is safe to have a meltdown on. ]

[ Jace shakes his head a little. ]

Considering how I met you in my world, yeah, its odd. Considering I met you about five seconds before you died.

[ Jace grimaces. His father. Ugh. ]

It was a shitty approach. I know that now. I didn't then. I just... I did whatever he wanted, however he wanted, because I was so desperate for his approval. To be exactly what he wanted.

Hard to believe I'd be killed by Valentine's thugs.

[ His own situation was considerably more complicated, but it's nothing Jace needs to hear. ]

Is that why you think you landed as a Submissive? Because of Valentine's abuse?

[ Mincing words is also not something Ragnor is known for. ]

[ Jace grimaced. It hadn't been pretty and it'd been so fast. Magnus had been so devastated. ]

I think it was a surprise all around.

[ Jace blinked and reared his head back, the surprised startlement on his face saying that no, that hadn't even crossed his mind. It certainly was NOW, however, and he made a complicated face of disgust and exasperation. ]

No? I mean. That's not why I think it happened anyways.

You did say it didn't feel arbitrary.

[ It's not an accusation. Or judgment, really. Ragnor likes being of service to others, meeting expectations, feeling like he's done a good job. He doesn't see anything wrong with it. ]

[ Jace gives Ragnor a long look, clearly struggling with either how much to say, or whether to say anything at all. He humms under his breath and twirls the glass in his hand on the bartop, without saying anything for a long moment. ]

I don't know if it's the same in your version of our world, but same-sex relationships between Shadowhunters isn't ... encouraged. It's not wrong, or immoral, but it doesn't breed more Shadowhunters. Messing around with the Downworlders is one thing, but again, that dilutes bloodlines.

[ He makes a face at the last word, making it clear what he thinks of that particular mindset. ]

I always thought that... the things I liked? The reasons why I liked them, was because I was... deviant. Wrong. Twisted. Perverted. Whatever word you want to use. Now I figure, well, it's just the demon blood, and yeah, maybe the Morgenstern blood coming to the fore.

[ He tipped the glass back and finished the last of the liquor inside of it, putting it back on the bar with a clink of sound. ]

So waking up here. Finding the mark on my throat. Just seemed like I'd finally been put somewhere I belonged. Where I'd get exactly what I'd thought I'd wanted, and hid from all these years. I just... didn't expect to have an audience of my most loved here to see it.

[ Ragnor frowns as he listens to Jace speak. Not surprised, that goes very much in line with the kind of rubbish Nephilim are fed from birth. ]

Do you believe all Downworlders to be twisted? [ It's a rhetorical question, he knows Jace doesn't, at least not consciously, and he's not trying to untangle a lifetime of being raised in a prejudiced society right now. ] Because I assure you, there is more demon blood in any of us than there is in you.

[ Valentine's lies aside, and if Jace is a Herondale, he does actually have some demonic heritage. The Jace he knows has golden eyes, the only leftover from his demonic ancestor. ]

[ Jace blinks at that and then sighs, and frowns. ]

No. No, I don't. Which means it's just me, actually. I don't believe that stupid crap about Downworlder's being naturally evil.

[ That doesn't help, in fact it just makes him feel worse about it, but that isn't Ragnor's problem. ]

Do you think Alec is twisted?

[ Seeing how Alec is dating a Shadowhunter, has settled in with a Downworlder, and has the same Submissive mark Jace does.

Ragnor knows he can't always trump feelings with logic, but identifying a toxic mindset can be the first step to addressing it. ]

[ Jace actually rolls his eyes at that, snorting in amusement at the idea. ]

Of course not. That self-sacrificing idiot. He's living with Bane in my world, you know? They're practically engaged at this point, really. I'm not surprised they gravitated towards each other here, either.

They're together in mine too, but that's not the topic at hand.

[ although it is very nice to know those two do get together in both worlds. ]

Since we've established neither the demon blood nor the attraction to men is an issue, then I believe by process of elimination, the problem does not lie with you, but with the Nephilim.

Sure. If the universe operated on logic alone. Besides. Most Downworlders only have half demon-blood. I've got no idea what Valentine's experiments did to the composition of mine.

[ He sighs, face twisting into a rueful grimace. ]

The Nephilim are probably part of it. Doesn't mean they've got it entirely wrong.

[ It's a grudging admission. Honestly, Jace is pretty sure that even by Duplicity standards, he's probably pretty twisted. But he really hasn't been here long enough to know how wrong he is. ]

Would you like to find out? A blood sample and a spell and I could tell you how much of your blood is demon blood.

[ He does not actually remember how much demon blood the Jace from his world was given. He thinks none? Ithuriel was involved, and he's relatively sure the one raised with demon blood was the other child, Sebastian or Jonathan.

Either way, Ragnor doesn't like the assumption that demon blood necessarily corrupts. ]

[ Jace blinks and something like desperate, terrible hope flickers over his expression before it gets overridden by fear. Because what if the answer is worse than he already expects.

It wouldn't be. He's actually heavily angel-blooded, but he doesn't know that, and it would bring up so many more questions for him. ]

That's... probably not a good idea.

[ He isn't sure he wants to know just how bad it is. ]

Sorry. I sound like an asshole, probably.

I don't fault you for not wanting to know. But I don't think you should make any decisions based on anything Morgenstern said.

[ The man's been dead for years now and Ragnor still has nothing but contempt for him. ]

If anything affected your personality, it was him being a psychopath, not whatever he got up to before you were born.

Because he’s a liar. I know. I just... he’s got no reason to lie about this. Especially after going to such lengths to make me think my father was dead.

[Oh Valentine has reason after reason, but he DID raise Jace and he knows where all his buttons and insecurities lay. He had weeks, months before Jace arrived in Dup to amp the boy up to the edge.

Jace’s smile doesn’t reach his eyes. ]

Yeah. And being related to him doesn’t help either, I’m sure.

How much have you told Alec and Magnus?

[ He has every intention of updating Magnus whether Jace likes it or not, but it's probably healthier if Jace explains matters to Alec himself. ]

About being Valentine’s son, and demon blooded? All of it. About the... sex stuff? Just. A little of it. It’s not exactly the kind of conversation I’ve ever had with either of them.

[ Jace shrugs uncomfortably. ]

Alec knows most of the things about, uh, growing up with my father. He’s the first person who made me realize his methods weren’t... the usual.

[ Abuse, in other words. ]</small]

You Nephilim are so repressed.

[ Ragnor isn't very sure of how to help. He doubts he can even start addressing all of Jace's issues in one conversation, especially when the boy's already on edge. ]

No one will judge your kinks here.

[ Jace snorted an amused sound but doesn't argue the point. He can't really. Of course he can't. ]

The Law is the Law is the blah, blah, blah?

[ Jace tries for funny, but it kind of falls flat. ]

Yeah. Magnus and Alec said the same, but I kind of have a hard time believing it. Some of them are... out there. It wouldn't be a thing really, but Alec said the city has a way of outing your secrets, so. I feel like there's a countdown clock over my head.

Do you need a conversation on good BDSM etiquette? Do you know safe words?

[ THAT is a conversation he can tackle right now. Much easier than trying to entangle the mess that is Valentine's everything. ]

[ Jace blinks at the sudden change in conversation and then looks both confused and vaguely horrified at the idea. ]

BD-What etiquette? Safe words for what? Ragnor, there are words coming out of your mouth but they make no sense.

[ Sweet summer child. Poor, poor Ragnor. ]

Do you know how to have safe sex?

[ Even as he asks, Ragnor is sure he doesn't. ]

... hell, will I need charts?