bloodofithuriel | (no subject)

"Yeah, but you stretch out my shirts with your big old shoulders," Jace complained right back. He hummed. "Yeah, and you tend to assume that no one could feel for YOU what you feel for them." He groaned and shook his head. "You like to tell people what they're allowed to feel, don't you?" he teased.

He saw the blush, but wasn't sure what it was coming from, but he wasn't sure if he should ask. He tilted his head a little to the side. "Which 'he' won't mind, Alec? Because at this point, there's a few different options." He made a face. "We're not talking about that, right?"

Jace scoffed. "Please. Of course you need him. He's like... something just for you, with no connections from home, no expectations or pressure or bad memories attached." Jace got it. He just didn't like it. Because he was all of that for Alec. A reminder of everything he'd escaped from, probably.

Alec's words just... kind of confirmed what figured already. It didn't exactly hurt to hear, but it was a bittersweet sort of ache, right in his chest. Like it was caving in, he thought wryly. Alec had what he needed here already. He didn't need Jace here, messing things up, making him remember, complicating it all up.

"I don't regret us being parabatai, Alec," he said quietly. He just... felt like he'd missed his chance somehow.

Then he was getting yanked and kissed and he made a muffled sound of surprise against Alec's lips, now very sure he was probably losing his mind.

"I meant we wear the same TYPE of things, not the same actual shirts. And it's not that our shoulders are that different, it's that your arms are short." Alec made a face. "I thought he was trying to be kind or convince himself because he knew how I felt."

"I meant Caliban won't mind you flirting," Alec said. "But most of the he's won't mind. You're you, Jace. Not many people are going to mind you flirting with them." He frowned. "We can talk about it, if you need to. I don't want ... details, but I'm telling you everything. I'm not gonna say you can't do that to me."

Alec frowned. "It's not that there's no connections. It's more ... we found each other? And I found him as I found myself, maybe. It's hard to explain. I just love him, and yeah, I need him."

Alec had thought he was being clear about needing all three of them. But from that sad note in Jace's voice, apparently not. He kissed Jace and then pulled back. "I don't regret it. We needed to be parabatai. Now we can work out how to be more, if you still want to. Unless YOU want to talk me out of how I feel?"

"Yeah, because you hit your growth spurt at like fifteen and started stretching out my shirts, and you take that filth back about my arms. They can reach you in a fight just fine," he mock-snarled. Okay so maybe that's why he liked swords. Longer reach. "You're an idiot," Jace said, very fondly.

Jace grinned a little. "I mean. He definitely did not mind the flirting. Or the half naked picture, so." He shrugged a little. "Hard to talk about without details, and mostly, if you're fine with things, I kind of don't want to dissect with the guy who I am both desperately in love with, and also is her brother. We did it. Might do it again, we haven't talked about it, honestly?" Actually, Jace should probably check in with her, especially after the D/s Finder had come out.

Jace made a thoughtful sound under his breath. "Yeah. I get it. I mean, I understand the concept even if I don't... I don't know. It's hard to hear that and not..." he trailed off. Not feel replaced? Put to the side. Which was stupid, because Jace had not been here, and Alec had thought Jace was straight and, how had it put it? An impossible thing. So getting mad... no, not mad. He wasn't mad. Getting jealous, and sad about it when it wasn't even ABOUT Jace was, well, it was stupid is what it was. "What's important is that he's important to you, and he makes you happy." Jace finally said firmly. He was maybe trying to convince himself more than anyone else.

Jace smiled wryly. "Oh no, more talking," he deadpanned. "Aren't you sick of talking to me about my dumb shit yet?" He shrugged. "I should, honestly. Things would be easier for you, if I did."

"Yeah, they can. When you have a sword," Alec said dryly. "You're my parabatai, so if I'm an idiot, so are you."

"Why would he mind?" Alec smiled. "He likes beautiful people, Jace. He's not shy about saying it." He looked away, still not quite sure how to process Jace saying he's in love with him, though it made his cheeks flush with pleasure. "I'm fine with it. It's weird but ... so are most things here."

Alec pushed though. "And not what?" he asked.

"We haven't even started talking about your stuff, we've been talking about mine," Alec said. He rolled his eyes. "You came back into my life after over half a year of missing you, and then tell me you're not straight and you feel the same way about me that I feel about you. You think you can talk me out of loving someone I've loved since I was fourteen? Good luck." Alec pushed Jace onto his back and then rolled half on top of him, kissing him again then winding fingers through his hair. "So talk about your stuff now."

"Can reach you just fine when we spar too, you asshole," Jace grouched. "Naw, you just got the smart parabatai is all," he teased, rolling his eyes.

"I don't know? It's weird man. Most things that would be super taboo here, no one even thinks twice about. I was talking to this chick on the network and she says she's a friend of Magnus, so I'm thinking she's cool people. Which she is. And she waits until after the flirting starts to drop that oh, she's Magnus' girlfriend." He sighed, laughing a little, and ran a hand over his face. "She's hilarious though."

Jace made a face when Alec pushed. "Not a lot of things. Not feel replaced? It sounds dumb out loud and it's more complicated than that. Not think I missed my chance somewhere along the way, before we even got here? Which is dumb, I know, we're sitting here, right now, talking about it, I didn't miss anything. I'm just... processing in my head, I guess." Somehow, Alec and Magnus was easy. It was like coming home. Alec and John was... more complicated.

Jace snorted. "I'm persuasive, I can talk you out of things," he argued with a laugh. "Not that I actually want to. Because unlike some people, I WANT you to love me, thanks." He oofed as he got pushed back and kissed, sinking into it with an ease that should have dismayed him, but absolutely didn't. He shook his head. "My stuff is fine."

"With swords," Alec agreed.

"Hope," Alec said. "She's a werewolf. She hung out here as a wolf, sometimes, for a while. She seems nice. She had to make a big deal on the network about saying she's not in love with Magnus, or her girlfriend, because they're Dominants too. I told her if she needed time with Magnus, she could say she was here to see me, to try to help a little. She's all white, when she's a wolf." Alec looked wry. "I could try to make you a chart for how Magnus' relationships work, but it'd be pretty complicated. He and Caliban are close, and George was like the third part of his marriage. Ragnor's his best friend, but not actually from his dimension. Those are most of the ones you'll see at the house, anyway ... usually."

"If you missed your chance, so did I. But there's no point in thinking about what we didn't do there when we have what we CAN do here waiting, right? You can't be replaced. Our souls are bound together. Loving John doesn't mean I can't love you. It just means it's a little more complicated."

"You can talk me out of some things. Not that," Alec said. "I've spent my whole life trying to talk myself out of it because I thought it made me a pervert and a deviant who was betraying you. If that didn't manage it, you trying to tell me to do it when I know you want me definitely isn't going to work. But thanks for not trying." Alec nipped at his lip gently after the kiss. "It's fine. That doesn't mean you shouldn't get to talk about it."

"Even without swords, you ass," Jace said, laughing. "I can kick your ass without swords too."

"And a vampire and a witch and can probably kick my ass too. She's funny." He hums. "Well. I mean, I guess it's a good thing and turns out you like a lot of people too, so the whole revolving door thing doesn't bring in a lot of attention. Izzy and I can help cover for him too." Especially if it meant Caliban coming around more, Jace definitely wouldn't mind.

Jace tilted his head, considering it. "Our souls are bound together. So I guess I can see why John was freaking out about it turning out I wasn't straight, or uninterested. And I can see where the idea of putting marks on each other for each other would help with that. It's just... really freaking close to things like marriage runes in my brain and then I get... weird about it. Which is stupid, I know. But I get it, like I said. If it works for you guys, then it works." Complicated was definitely the word.

"Hmm. You're welcome. I'm trying to stop being the guy who cuts off his nose to spite his face. Because I've got a really great nose, for one," he rambled a little, before he leaned up to kiss Alec again, fingertips reaching up to brush through Alec's hair gently, studying his face. "I know. But it really is fine? Like... it's weird, but once we did the contract, things just kind of... settled in my chest and I felt like... weirdly okay with things. Talking with you, and with Magnus, and even Ragnor, it all helped put stuff in perspective, and the glitter whiskey definitely helped. Knowing I've got a place, and a home, and something to do with my time helps too."

"Yeah ... but is that really what you want to do?" Alec asked, eyebrows lifting and kissing Jace again, slow and deep.

"I knew the vampire part, not the witch," Alec admitted. "I haven't talked to her much, she seems nice though." He half-smiled. "Yeah ... I don't know. Maybe that's why I felt like it was okay to be open to other people, because I'd felt that Magnus loved more than one person at the same time, so it felt ... possible?"

"It's not wedding runes. It's going to be a little flame, for his fire, and an arrow for him," Alec said, "We're not married. Married ... I don't know. Technically, I already am. Twice. It doesn't really mean anything to the people here. It meant something to Magnus with Lucy, but they were barely married before she left. I don't think I'd want to risk it here. But having something permanent to look at when I can't see him, or he can't see me - that we can do." Alec shrugged. "Even when you weren't here Jace, I wasn't ever trying to replace you. Just move on from where I was at home. I didn't know I could have moved on with you instead of from you."

"It's a nice nose," Alec said, eyes rolling, but he did drop a kiss to the tip of it. He answered Jace's kiss and then studied his face. "Ragnor too, huh?" he asked, smiling. "Okay," he said. "But if there's anything you want to talk about, you can."

"Ehhhh. Maybe? Just pretty sure that sparring with you now is gonna end up in more kissing than kicking probably," he laughed as Alec proved his point, letting himself sink into the kiss, shift his body to wrap an arm around Alec, hand splaying over his lower back and rubbing a slow circle there.

"Maybe." Jace didn't know, and he wasn't going to dig too deep. As long as Alec was happy, and things seemed to be working out, well, he was learning to not tempt fate, or the City's capriciousness.

"My brain knows that. My heart mostly does too. My insecurity, however, doesn't give a damn," he told Alec wryly. He made a soft sound, stroking Alec's hair again. "Sorry I made you ever doubt whether or not you shouldhave feelings for me, sweetheart," he said.

Jace wrinkled said nose, but he was smiling too. "Not Ragnor too, like that, Angel, I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm an unruly toddler, honestly. He made me read a sex pamphlet Alec. About safe words and BDSM and consent and stuff." He hummed. "I know. We agreed. Talking and communication. Taking things slow, seeing how things develop." He smiled wryly. "Pretty sure it was a good think I'd passed out by the time you got home after the glitter whiskey. Probably would have pounced you."

"We won't get much done," Alec said. "But I might not complain." Kissing Jace was still ... new. It felt a little like it was still forbidden, or like it wasn't real. It made it hard to not want to grab on and kiss whenever he could, in case it disappeared.

Alec ducked his head, brushing a kiss to Jace's chest at the lowest part of the V of his shirt, closest as he could get to his heart. "Your heart will catch up," he said. He half-smiled. "I made you doubt too. It's not your fault."

Alec laughed. "He thinks we're all infants, except Magnus. He just thinks Magnus acts like an infant." It was said fondly though. Grumpy as Ragnor could be, he was unfailingly loyal to Magnus, and Alec loved him for that. And he just tended to find Ragnor funny, too. "I made you read that stuff too," he reminded Jace. "Or what I could find, anyway." He shifted enough that he could slip a hand under Jace's shirt, trace the outline of his parabatai rune from memory. "I wouldn't have let you then. Too drunk." This, however, wasn't then.

"Oh well, we won't get much sparring done, anyways," Jace agreed, with a laugh, leaning in to kiss the corner of Alec's mouth.

Jace shivered when Alec kissed his skin like that, fingers tugging gently on Alec's hair, just really liking the chance to scrape his fingernails over Alec's scalp and feel the the thick waves with his fingers. "No one's fault, I don't think. Just... how we grew up, is all." Ragnor had a point about Nephilim being repressed, probably.

"I mean, to him, we might all be." He shook his head. "You offered me that stuff to read. You did not paste the pamphlet to my head until I agreed to read it, or you'd tell it to me in person," Jace griped. He nodded towards his device. "Been looking things up on my own now anyways." Angel knew the City was more than willing to provide him with lots of sex advice.

He hissed in a breath as Alec slid his hand under Jace's shirt, touching the bond rune, making him shiver. "Best Alec," he said, but it was less joking now, more sincere. "Yours, always," he said as Alec traced the rune. "Soul to soul."

Alec made a little pleased sound as Jace scratched fingers over his scalp. "How we grew up," he agreed. "Do you think you'd have told me, if we weren't parabatai?" he asked. "I almost backed out because I knew," he admitted. "But I thought it was as close as I could get to you, and the best way for me to keep you safe. So I went ahead with it anyway."

He laughed again. "He pasted it to your head? And I DID offer to look at it with you. I just didn't make it a threat," he said. Alec made a thoughtful sound. "Just be careful. Stuff doesn't stay up if the city doesn't approve of it, and the city's idea of what's okay and what really is probably isn't the same. Ask Magnus if you're not sure."

Alec smiled. "Only Alec you know," he said. But he leaned in and kissed Jace, slow and deep. "Yours too," he murmured against Jace's lips.

Jace tilted his head, considering it. "If we hadn't been parabatai, I probably absolutely would have told you. We'd already taken the bond, I was terrified they'd de-rune us both." He sighed a little, and nuzzled along Alec's jawline. "You do keep me safe," he agreed.

"With magic," he said dolefully, looking for sympathy. "I know. And we can still do that if there's things we want to try out, too. I just didn't want to make it more awkward and make you look at more porn." He laughed. "Yeah. I can ask Magnus. Or make Ragnor tell me, he wants to be so informative."

"Thus the best Alec ever," he pointed out. The kiss was good, exactly what he wanted, and he tugged Alec a little closer, curving his body into Alec's, still stroking up and down his back lazily. "Good. Fucking finally," he teased, kissing Alec again.

Alec smiled wryly. "I don't know if I ever would have," he said. "I'd like to think maybe someday I'd have worked up the guts, but probably not. I'm a coward about things like that." He tipped his head for Jace's nuzzling. "That's my job. I'll always try."

Alec laughed again. "Ask him about Magnus' musical talents sometime. He'll get extremely cranky about it." He kissed at Jace's neck. "I can READ things without watching porn. I just don't understand porn. I don't want to watch strangers have sex. But yeah. Ask Ragnor. Tell me what his face did later too."

He smiled. "I'll take the title," he decided. Alec let the tug pull him and rolled the rest of the way on top of Jace, sinking into the slow kisses.

"You're not a coward, Alec. You had a lot to lose, a lot of pressure on you, and a lot of expectations. It was really hard for you to be selfish and want things for yourself, always was." Jace got it. Jace honestly put almost as much pressure on himself as Alec did, trying to be the best, as if to make up for everything else in his life. "You do an excellent job," he murmured, nipping at Alec's throat.

"Hmmm. I have a list of things I'm supposed to ask people about, I'm starting to think I'm being set up for jokes," he whined playfully. "Besides, isn't Ragnor like, always cranky?" Jace laughed. "Yeah, but you're okay watching people you like having sex, so it's not really that far removed?"

"Well, you earned it, so," Jace said. Then he got distracted with kissing, and letting his fingers trace over the line of Alec's back, over his spine, his shoulder blades, the hollow right at the base of his spine.

"Maybe," Alec said. "But so did you. so does everyone. I just reacted to it differently, and that's at least a little bit me being a coward." He swallowed as Jace nipped him, chin tipping back more.

"I wouldn't set you up about that," Alec said. "But I do like when Ragnor's face looks like he ate a lemon raw. He's always cranky, but it's ... I don't know. I think it's like what he puts on to keep people from getting too close. He'll help pretty much anyone who asks him, as far as I've seen." He blushed. "That's not the same. That's ... participating."

One kiss turned easily into more. Slow, languid making out that took on a more gradual hunger, Alec's thigh slipping between Jace's legs to press against him.

"Hmmm. Yeah. but I was just a Wayland, Lightwood by adoption. You were the eldest son, the heir to the crown, blah blah blah." Jace had never been incredibly impressed with the pressure his parents had put on Alec. Even if he had absolute faith that Alec could handle it. "You did fine." Jace noted the obvious interest in the nipping, and trailed a slow line of them over the column of his throat, before worrying his teeth a little right at his adam's apple, before licking the sting away.

Jace snickered. "So just everyone in the house picks on him then, to get a reaction. Mean." Didn't mean Jace wouldn't join in a little, though. He laughed a little at the blush, brushing his lips across one of Alec's cheeks. "Hmmm. Remember to point out you participating later."

Jace groaned a little as Alec's thigh slipped between his legs, rocking up just a little, to get a little friction, even as his hands slid up his back, trying to tug him in even a little bit closer.

"There's no crown," Alec grumbled. But he didn't argue any further. He made a low sound as Jace's teeth worried at his skin.

"Not picks on him. I think Magnus tries to nudge him out of his shell a little," Alec said. "He blames everything on Magnus anyway." He groaned. "If I'm in the ROOM with them and they know I'm there, even if I'm not ... touching them at that exact moment, I'm still a part of things. So it's not just ... watching."

Alec returned the favor and bit at Jace's lip, and then at his jaw, letting Jace rock against him and pull him in closer.

Jace snickered. "There is definitely a crown somewhere, buried in a vault I bet," he teased. He made an interested little groan at the sound Alec made, chasing it by working on the other side of Alec's throat across his rune.

"He does seem exceedingly put out by existence somehow." He laughed a little. "Yeah. Doesn't mean you can't participate MORE, hmm? Can I talk you into watching me and Magnus sometime?"

Jace groaned Alec's name under his breath, wrapping his other arm around him to hang on a little tighter, more than happy to let Alec touch him however he wanted to. He tilted his head back, giving Alec better access, one hand sliding in his hair, so he could catch Alec's mouth again for another kiss, licking the taste of him from his lips.

Alec rolled his eyes. "If there were, Izzy would have found it," he said, laugh turning into a soft groan when Jace bit at the other side of his throat.

"Going off precedent, I'm guessing he blames it for Magnus," Alec said, smirking. He snorted. "I was trying to imply that earlier and it kept going right over your head. But I could watch that. Is that all you'd want me to do? Watch?"

Alec answered the kiss, hand sliding into Jace's hair, tugging gently to tilt his head back a little more so he could kiss his way down Jace's throat too once he broke away from his mouth. His other hand slipped further beneath Jace's shirt, running along his side. "Do you want more than this?" he asked, nipping again and then adding quietly. "I could suck you off, if you want." Despite how much practice he might have here, he was still Alec, and his cheeks were still hot saying it, no matter how much he wanted to do it.

Jace definitely liked that, and moved his mouth down back to the hollow of Alec's throat, licking the skin there.

Jace groaned. "You should have just said it then. I am clearly not great at getting your implications yet. Or I'm just not used to you actually flirting with me," he admitted. He leaned over and nipped Alec's earlobe. "I definitely want that. I'd definitely want you to do more though. Want you to, you know, actually participate. Actively. With hands, and mouth and other things."

Alec touching him like that made Jace melt, and he shivered as Alec slipped his hand under Jace's shirt. "Always want more with you," Jace said, low and thrumming with want. "Fuck. Alec. Yeah. Yeah. If you want. If I get my turn after?"

"I thought I DID," Alec said, laugh throaty, turning into another of those soft groans when Jace bit his ear. "I want that too." Jace was his parabatai, his other half. Alec wanted to share all the things and people he loved with Jace, let him have the same measures of happiness Alec had managed to find here.

Maybe not John, though. At least not now, not until the two of them liked one another better.

"Always?" Alec asked. "Even when you're arguing with me?" He threw Jace a quick grin and then kissed him again. "You can have your turn too."

Alec kissed him once more, and then pushed himself up, scooting back until he was straddling Jace's legs instead, and then tugging him to sit up so Alec could tug off his shirt, run hands down his bare chest instead.

"Clearly NOT, or I'd have already been tugging you out of your clothes, sweetheart," Jace chided him, then making a pleased sound at his agreement. "Oh excellent, I'm pretty sure Magnus will be happy to let us play."

"Yes. Always. Even when I'm arguing with you." He returned the kiss, nipping his lower lip. "You're pretty when you're mad," he teased.

He lifted his arms to make it easier for Alec to get his shirt off and groaned as he felt hands on his bare skin, arching his back up a little. It was, he had to admit, pretty hot to see Alec taking the initiative like this.

"I was pretty obvious," Alec insisted, but he laughed. "I don't think he'll mind. But you should be with just him first. Get to know each other."

He rolled his eyes. "You're full of it," Alec said. Alec was learning that more people than he realized found him attractive, but pretty he still didn't really see. Especially not if he was in the process of being pissed off.

Most of the time, Alec was content to be led rather than lead. But as he gained confidence, he got more assertive. And with Jace, it had been Alec who said they should be slow, and it was Alec who had other commitments and was complicated. So it felt like he should be the one to make the first real moves, so it was easier for Jace to know what was allowed, and good - the way Magnus and John had done for Alec.

He skimmed his hands up Jace's chest and down again, thumbs flicking over his nipples before they moved down to let his fingers trace their run again. Alec leaned in to kiss him again before pushing up off of him. He stood beside the bed, wrapping hands around Jace's legs and tugging him to the edge a bit more, and then kneeling between them, reaching to start opening his pants, cheeks still pink but hands steady and sure.

Jace laughed at that. "You were the least obvious ever. You were being vague and weird. There was like four different people that part of the conversation could be about." He hummed. "Fine. But let me make it clear. I want to have sex with you. I want to have sex with him. At some point, I would like to have regular sex with both of you. Also, I would like to be completely fucking OWNED by Him and Caliban, because Angel, that's a hot idea."

Jace growled a little, and shifted to lightly grip Alec's chin, making him look Jace in the eyes. "Hey. You're pretty. Even when you're mad, I think you're pretty, because you get all fired up and your jaw gets all set and your shoulders are braced and then I want to climb you like a fucking tree. I'm allowed to say you're pretty. Because you are."

Alec was distracting as hell though, touching Jace, running his hands over him like he was learning every inch of his body, finding what spots made Jace react. The thumbs on his nipples made him hiss in a breath and his spine arch, and when Alec pushed away, he whined out loud, reaching for him with a pronounced pout. Then Alec was manhandling him and oh, that was okay, he could put up with that. That was good. "God, you can tug me around like that any time you want," he muttered.