Five minutes or so later, Alec comes upstairs, balancing a tray on one hand and holding two bottles of water in the other. He tosses one of the bottles to Jace after hip-checking the door open, and then nudges the door shut behind him with his toe, carrying the tray over and handing it off to Jace.
Alec knows what Jace likes, so the sandwich is heavy on meat and cheese, free of mustard, and light on lettuce with lightly toasted bread. His is more darkly toasted and has spicy mustard and a salad's worth of lettuce.
Alec drops down onto the bed opposite Jace, not reaching for the sandwich yet. "You okay?" he asks.
Jace sat up from where he'd been idly thumbing through something on his device, caught the bottle with a half grin. He eyed Alec, not at all worried about him dropping anything, Alec's sense of balance was superb. He makes a contented little huff of sound when he sees the sandwich, made just the way he liked it.
He arches a brow at the question. "Are you buttering me up with food to status check me, Alec?"
"No," Alec says. Again. He smiles a little, teasing, and shrugs. "I was making food anyway because I was hungry, and I was going to check on you anyway. They just happened to go together. I wanted to talk to you, too. And make sure you're swearing off glitter whiskey for a while." Even if drunken Jace had been pretty amusing.
"Do I need to butter you up just to ask how you're doing?" Alec asks him.
Jace rolls his eyes. Excessively. "Mhmm. Well, thanks for the food." He peered at Alec, still slightly suspicious, but considering everything that had been going on, it made sense that Alec wanted to check in on him anyways. He smirked a little. "Best Alec," he teased, referencing his drunken ramblings in text. "No more glitter whiskey, even if I was apparently very amusing."
He hummed. "No, but I like it?" he offered with a wink.
"Welcome," Alec says, amused. He laughs, remembering the same thing. "You were pretty cute," he admits. "Did you make it upstairs awake long enough to actually talk to Magnus, or just end up passing out?" he teases. "There's this purple bottle that tastes like fruit juice, by the way. It's really good and I have no idea what it is."
Alec stretches out on his side, feet on the floor and weight braced on one elbow, watching Jace. "I talked to John about you."
Jace preened a little, because Alec thought he was cute. He couldn't help himself. Alec's opinion was one of the few he actually valued. "I wasn't that far gone. I got upstairs, we talked." He gave Alec a sly look and shrugged. "And I'm officially contracted, so there's that. I won't be sneaking off to sleep in the Down any more."
He made a mental note to find the purple bottle at some point, just to see what Alec was talking about. "You didn't ask?" he asked, exasperated.
Jace arched a brow. "I was under the impression when he talked to me that he already knew who I was?"
Alec sighed, relief in the sound. "Good. I'll get some of my stuff out of the closet to make more room for you. He'll probably start inflating your wardrobe soon too," Alec said wryly. "Did it go okay? Talking, figuring out the contract?"
He shrugged. "I found it the last time one of those Finder posts came out. Magnus got drunk and upset and then I got drunk and then Ragnor sent me to go try to cheer him up. If it was poison, Ragnor probably would have stopped me from drinking it." For someone who didn't drink much, Alec had a high tolerance - he got drunk fast but he could drink a lot and not get sick.
"He knew who you ARE," Alec said, rolling his eyes. "But when I told him about you, I told him that at home I was in love with my straight parabatai who'd never feel the same way, even if it wasn't forbidden. So I told him how things are now - that they're not how I thought they were."
Jace rolled his eyes. "I doubt Magnus needs to dress me up. I don't have your shoulders," he said, but he didn't look bothered either way. "Yeah? I mean, I mostly just trusted him to tell me what was standard. My only request that it says we are definitely gonna be, you know, having sex at some point. And I'm going to work for him at the Grey Room?"
Jace stills as he realized that it meant John hadn't had any idea about Alec and Jace's feelings for each other when they'd talk then. Did John think he'd lied, or had held it back on purpose? Had it caused problems for Alec? Did John break up with him? He was pretty sure Alec would be a lot more upset if that was the case.
"How'd that go?" he asked, as neutrally as he could.
"Jace," Alec said. "Magnus needs to dress everyone up. Trust me. And your shoulders are good." He nodded. "Mine is just stripped down to mostly the minimum of what you have to have in there, plus saying I live with him, and that I can work and buy things and move around on my own, much as they let us." He half smiled, fingers picking at the crust of his sandwich without eating it yet, peeking up at Jace with a little bit of the new flirtation that Alec didn't really know he did. "Just him?" he asked. He frowned thoughtfully. "That's the new place he took on, right?"
"He was upset, at first," Alec admitted. "I assumed that because we'd talked about me and Magnus and both of us with other people, that it would be the same with you. But you're different. He knew what you'd meant to me and how I felt and I think he felt like you wanting me back meant I'd just have everything I'd wanted - you, Magnus, both here. And that I wouldn't need him when he couldn't be here all the time. But we talked and worked it out. He's okay with sharing, and he knows that it doesn't change how I feel about him. We just have to always talk."
Jace shrugged. "Yeah, but I just wear black and grey, it's not like I need an actual wardrobe." He tilted his head. "Yeah, I think ours are pretty similar, lots of privileges for a submissive, basically. I trusted him to know what to put, really." Jace made a sound and tilted his head, grinning a little at that look. "Oh definitely not just him. Did I need special permission to jump you, Alec?" He nodded. "Yeah. Fancy private club or something, I guess. No stripping for me," he laughed.
Jace listened intently, frowning slightly as he tried to parse it out. "Different because you had feelings for me back home?" He wasn't sure WHY that was, it just meant that Alec had always had feelings. He hummed under his breath. "Talk... every time you want to sleep with someone other then him or Magnus? Or just... communicate in general?"
"So did I. He doesn't approve," Alec said with a laugh. He nodded. "Magnus and I had only met a couple of times when I signed with him, so he was really clear and careful to show me everything. We didn't even plan on sleeping together at first, really. And then the city had this thing - we rang a bell together, and suddenly all I wanted to do was be with him, make him happy, love him. After a little while, I could feel what he felt, hear what he thought, see some of his memories, and he was the same with me. It wore off in a few days, and I didn't know what the hell to do. Even without the bells, I'm pretty sure I was already falling for him by then, and I definitely didn't want to go back to not sleeping with him. So I finally made him grilled cheese and talked about it." Alec looked rueful. "Maybe the food and talking thing is a pattern with me."
He laughed. "No - but I meant more sleep with just him, alone," he clarified, smirking a little. He groaned. "Don't say that, you'll jinx it and end up stripping. Caliban did ... not that it probably took a lot of city stuff to get him to." Shy Caliban was not.
Alec gave him a fond look. "I didn't think of it right either," he admitted. "But I pretty much blurted out I loved him and Magnus at the same time. So they both knew about each other. I told him about you a little later, and it was ... telling him about someone impossible. Then you were here, and not impossible. He thought it might mean losing me, I think." He shook his head. "No, just talk when something changes, or when we're upset. Work through things? Not just bottle it up or run away."
Alec shrugged again. "The point is that I was honest with him, and I'm honest with Magnus, and I'm honest with you. I'm apparently the kind of guy who falls in love with three people and still maybe invited Caliban to come shower with me? I don't know, Jace. Maybe I'm possessed." He smiled crookedly. "But he hates that we can't always just see each other or stay over whenever we want - that there's distance. And I want us to have something that's permanent for us, too. So we're getting little tattoos. Too small to get in the way of runes."
Jace smirked. "That's because you dress like you're forty. I make black look good," he pointed out. He tilted his head, and then took a big bite out of his sandwich so he could think and not have to talk while he processed. "So you came out of that, and not knowing for sure if what you or he felt was real, or from the City messing with you." It made sense, and knowing Alec, was confusing as hell and he would have assumed that anything Magnus had felt had to be fake. Alec never thought he was enough, when he was everything.
"Ah. For now, since someone else I know is holding out, so," Jace shrugged. "Flirted with Caliban some more on the Finder, by the way. I sent him a picture," he added, blushing, even as he smirked a little. "I can't even blame that on the glitter whiskey."
Jace frowned. "I'd never make you choose. I told you that. I think I told him that too? It was a weird conversation." Mostly because Jace hadn't wanted to have it. He made a face, not sure if the run away comment was meant to be pointed or not. He chose to ignore it instead."
Jace watched Alec for a long moment. "Okay. That's... that's good. Being honest and open, and knowing what you want, I mean. You're not possessed. You're just finally getting confident in what you want and how you want it. That's a good thing." The mention of the matching tattoos makes him go very still and his stomach sort of dropped and suddenly his sandwich was very dry. He put it down carefully and took a long sip of water. "Ah," he said, and there was a wealth of something in those words, but his eyes were staring at the bedspread and his hand started to move as if towards the bond rune but he dropped it back down to his lap forcefully.
"We wear like 80 percent of the same things," Alec complained. He considered. "I knew it wasn't real. But I also knew that what he felt for the other people he'd lost WAS real. And I knew what it was like to feel like that for him, and who he was, so it was ... really easy to start feeling that way again. But knowing he felt so MUCH for people who came before me, and how special they were to him - I pretty much just assumed that he would never feel as much for me. I tried to talk him out of telling me he loved me when he did because of that."
Alec laughed, cheeks a little pink as Jace missed what he'd been hinting at again. But he let it go this time. "He sent me a video that was meant for Magnus on accident, but we talked for a while. You can flirt with whoever you want, Jace. He's not going to mind." He hesitated and then added carefully. "Even if that's Izzy, too."
"He didn't think you'd make me choose. He just ... thought I wouldn't need him, maybe," Alec said.
That single phrase had a lot of meaning to it and Alec watched Jace, a little uncertain but more confident that he understood where Jace was coming from now - it wasn't far from what John had gotten upset about, what Alec assumed with Magnus and George. "Magnus is ... my touchstone here. My rock. He helped me find my way and find myself and I love him. John is ... who I found all on my own. Someone that wouldn't have been at home, that maybe doesn't make sense if you'd met the two of us before, but who makes me happy and I make him happy. I think I'm better at being a person, better for everyone, to everyone, because of loving Magnus, because of loving John. But you're the other half of me, Jace. We already share a soul and a bond and a mark. I wouldn't be ... I don't know who I'd be without you, but probably more uptight than I already was, for sure. I'm only a person at all it feels like because I love you and was your parabatai."
Alec reached for the tray, moving it aside to set on the nightstand, and then just caught Jace by the wrist and yanked him closer and kissed him. "Don't overthink, that's my job."
"Yeah, but you stretch out my shirts with your big old shoulders," Jace complained right back. He hummed. "Yeah, and you tend to assume that no one could feel for YOU what you feel for them." He groaned and shook his head. "You like to tell people what they're allowed to feel, don't you?" he teased.
He saw the blush, but wasn't sure what it was coming from, but he wasn't sure if he should ask. He tilted his head a little to the side. "Which 'he' won't mind, Alec? Because at this point, there's a few different options." He made a face. "We're not talking about that, right?"
Jace scoffed. "Please. Of course you need him. He's like... something just for you, with no connections from home, no expectations or pressure or bad memories attached." Jace got it. He just didn't like it. Because he was all of that for Alec. A reminder of everything he'd escaped from, probably.
Alec's words just... kind of confirmed what figured already. It didn't exactly hurt to hear, but it was a bittersweet sort of ache, right in his chest. Like it was caving in, he thought wryly. Alec had what he needed here already. He didn't need Jace here, messing things up, making him remember, complicating it all up.
"I don't regret us being parabatai, Alec," he said quietly. He just... felt like he'd missed his chance somehow.
Then he was getting yanked and kissed and he made a muffled sound of surprise against Alec's lips, now very sure he was probably losing his mind.
"I meant we wear the same TYPE of things, not the same actual shirts. And it's not that our shoulders are that different, it's that your arms are short." Alec made a face. "I thought he was trying to be kind or convince himself because he knew how I felt."
"I meant Caliban won't mind you flirting," Alec said. "But most of the he's won't mind. You're you, Jace. Not many people are going to mind you flirting with them." He frowned. "We can talk about it, if you need to. I don't want ... details, but I'm telling you everything. I'm not gonna say you can't do that to me."
Alec frowned. "It's not that there's no connections. It's more ... we found each other? And I found him as I found myself, maybe. It's hard to explain. I just love him, and yeah, I need him."
Alec had thought he was being clear about needing all three of them. But from that sad note in Jace's voice, apparently not. He kissed Jace and then pulled back. "I don't regret it. We needed to be parabatai. Now we can work out how to be more, if you still want to. Unless YOU want to talk me out of how I feel?"
"Yeah, because you hit your growth spurt at like fifteen and started stretching out my shirts, and you take that filth back about my arms. They can reach you in a fight just fine," he mock-snarled. Okay so maybe that's why he liked swords. Longer reach. "You're an idiot," Jace said, very fondly.
Jace grinned a little. "I mean. He definitely did not mind the flirting. Or the half naked picture, so." He shrugged a little. "Hard to talk about without details, and mostly, if you're fine with things, I kind of don't want to dissect with the guy who I am both desperately in love with, and also is her brother. We did it. Might do it again, we haven't talked about it, honestly?" Actually, Jace should probably check in with her, especially after the D/s Finder had come out.
Jace made a thoughtful sound under his breath. "Yeah. I get it. I mean, I understand the concept even if I don't... I don't know. It's hard to hear that and not..." he trailed off. Not feel replaced? Put to the side. Which was stupid, because Jace had not been here, and Alec had thought Jace was straight and, how had it put it? An impossible thing. So getting mad... no, not mad. He wasn't mad. Getting jealous, and sad about it when it wasn't even ABOUT Jace was, well, it was stupid is what it was. "What's important is that he's important to you, and he makes you happy." Jace finally said firmly. He was maybe trying to convince himself more than anyone else.
Jace smiled wryly. "Oh no, more talking," he deadpanned. "Aren't you sick of talking to me about my dumb shit yet?" He shrugged. "I should, honestly. Things would be easier for you, if I did."
"Yeah, they can. When you have a sword," Alec said dryly. "You're my parabatai, so if I'm an idiot, so are you."
"Why would he mind?" Alec smiled. "He likes beautiful people, Jace. He's not shy about saying it." He looked away, still not quite sure how to process Jace saying he's in love with him, though it made his cheeks flush with pleasure. "I'm fine with it. It's weird but ... so are most things here."
Alec pushed though. "And not what?" he asked.
"We haven't even started talking about your stuff, we've been talking about mine," Alec said. He rolled his eyes. "You came back into my life after over half a year of missing you, and then tell me you're not straight and you feel the same way about me that I feel about you. You think you can talk me out of loving someone I've loved since I was fourteen? Good luck." Alec pushed Jace onto his back and then rolled half on top of him, kissing him again then winding fingers through his hair. "So talk about your stuff now."
"Can reach you just fine when we spar too, you asshole," Jace grouched. "Naw, you just got the smart parabatai is all," he teased, rolling his eyes.
"I don't know? It's weird man. Most things that would be super taboo here, no one even thinks twice about. I was talking to this chick on the network and she says she's a friend of Magnus, so I'm thinking she's cool people. Which she is. And she waits until after the flirting starts to drop that oh, she's Magnus' girlfriend." He sighed, laughing a little, and ran a hand over his face. "She's hilarious though."
Jace made a face when Alec pushed. "Not a lot of things. Not feel replaced? It sounds dumb out loud and it's more complicated than that. Not think I missed my chance somewhere along the way, before we even got here? Which is dumb, I know, we're sitting here, right now, talking about it, I didn't miss anything. I'm just... processing in my head, I guess." Somehow, Alec and Magnus was easy. It was like coming home. Alec and John was... more complicated.
Jace snorted. "I'm persuasive, I can talk you out of things," he argued with a laugh. "Not that I actually want to. Because unlike some people, I WANT you to love me, thanks." He oofed as he got pushed back and kissed, sinking into it with an ease that should have dismayed him, but absolutely didn't. He shook his head. "My stuff is fine."
"Hope," Alec said. "She's a werewolf. She hung out here as a wolf, sometimes, for a while. She seems nice. She had to make a big deal on the network about saying she's not in love with Magnus, or her girlfriend, because they're Dominants too. I told her if she needed time with Magnus, she could say she was here to see me, to try to help a little. She's all white, when she's a wolf." Alec looked wry. "I could try to make you a chart for how Magnus' relationships work, but it'd be pretty complicated. He and Caliban are close, and George was like the third part of his marriage. Ragnor's his best friend, but not actually from his dimension. Those are most of the ones you'll see at the house, anyway ... usually."
"If you missed your chance, so did I. But there's no point in thinking about what we didn't do there when we have what we CAN do here waiting, right? You can't be replaced. Our souls are bound together. Loving John doesn't mean I can't love you. It just means it's a little more complicated."
"You can talk me out of some things. Not that," Alec said. "I've spent my whole life trying to talk myself out of it because I thought it made me a pervert and a deviant who was betraying you. If that didn't manage it, you trying to tell me to do it when I know you want me definitely isn't going to work. But thanks for not trying." Alec nipped at his lip gently after the kiss. "It's fine. That doesn't mean you shouldn't get to talk about it."
"Even without swords, you ass," Jace said, laughing. "I can kick your ass without swords too."
"And a vampire and a witch and can probably kick my ass too. She's funny." He hums. "Well. I mean, I guess it's a good thing and turns out you like a lot of people too, so the whole revolving door thing doesn't bring in a lot of attention. Izzy and I can help cover for him too." Especially if it meant Caliban coming around more, Jace definitely wouldn't mind.
Jace tilted his head, considering it. "Our souls are bound together. So I guess I can see why John was freaking out about it turning out I wasn't straight, or uninterested. And I can see where the idea of putting marks on each other for each other would help with that. It's just... really freaking close to things like marriage runes in my brain and then I get... weird about it. Which is stupid, I know. But I get it, like I said. If it works for you guys, then it works." Complicated was definitely the word.
"Hmm. You're welcome. I'm trying to stop being the guy who cuts off his nose to spite his face. Because I've got a really great nose, for one," he rambled a little, before he leaned up to kiss Alec again, fingertips reaching up to brush through Alec's hair gently, studying his face. "I know. But it really is fine? Like... it's weird, but once we did the contract, things just kind of... settled in my chest and I felt like... weirdly okay with things. Talking with you, and with Magnus, and even Ragnor, it all helped put stuff in perspective, and the glitter whiskey definitely helped. Knowing I've got a place, and a home, and something to do with my time helps too."
"Yeah ... but is that really what you want to do?" Alec asked, eyebrows lifting and kissing Jace again, slow and deep.
"I knew the vampire part, not the witch," Alec admitted. "I haven't talked to her much, she seems nice though." He half-smiled. "Yeah ... I don't know. Maybe that's why I felt like it was okay to be open to other people, because I'd felt that Magnus loved more than one person at the same time, so it felt ... possible?"
"It's not wedding runes. It's going to be a little flame, for his fire, and an arrow for him," Alec said, "We're not married. Married ... I don't know. Technically, I already am. Twice. It doesn't really mean anything to the people here. It meant something to Magnus with Lucy, but they were barely married before she left. I don't think I'd want to risk it here. But having something permanent to look at when I can't see him, or he can't see me - that we can do." Alec shrugged. "Even when you weren't here Jace, I wasn't ever trying to replace you. Just move on from where I was at home. I didn't know I could have moved on with you instead of from you."
"It's a nice nose," Alec said, eyes rolling, but he did drop a kiss to the tip of it. He answered Jace's kiss and then studied his face. "Ragnor too, huh?" he asked, smiling. "Okay," he said. "But if there's anything you want to talk about, you can."
"Ehhhh. Maybe? Just pretty sure that sparring with you now is gonna end up in more kissing than kicking probably," he laughed as Alec proved his point, letting himself sink into the kiss, shift his body to wrap an arm around Alec, hand splaying over his lower back and rubbing a slow circle there.
"Maybe." Jace didn't know, and he wasn't going to dig too deep. As long as Alec was happy, and things seemed to be working out, well, he was learning to not tempt fate, or the City's capriciousness.
"My brain knows that. My heart mostly does too. My insecurity, however, doesn't give a damn," he told Alec wryly. He made a soft sound, stroking Alec's hair again. "Sorry I made you ever doubt whether or not you shouldhave feelings for me, sweetheart," he said.
Jace wrinkled said nose, but he was smiling too. "Not Ragnor too, like that, Angel, I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm an unruly toddler, honestly. He made me read a sex pamphlet Alec. About safe words and BDSM and consent and stuff." He hummed. "I know. We agreed. Talking and communication. Taking things slow, seeing how things develop." He smiled wryly. "Pretty sure it was a good think I'd passed out by the time you got home after the glitter whiskey. Probably would have pounced you."
"We won't get much done," Alec said. "But I might not complain." Kissing Jace was still ... new. It felt a little like it was still forbidden, or like it wasn't real. It made it hard to not want to grab on and kiss whenever he could, in case it disappeared.
Alec ducked his head, brushing a kiss to Jace's chest at the lowest part of the V of his shirt, closest as he could get to his heart. "Your heart will catch up," he said. He half-smiled. "I made you doubt too. It's not your fault."
Alec laughed. "He thinks we're all infants, except Magnus. He just thinks Magnus acts like an infant." It was said fondly though. Grumpy as Ragnor could be, he was unfailingly loyal to Magnus, and Alec loved him for that. And he just tended to find Ragnor funny, too. "I made you read that stuff too," he reminded Jace. "Or what I could find, anyway." He shifted enough that he could slip a hand under Jace's shirt, trace the outline of his parabatai rune from memory. "I wouldn't have let you then. Too drunk." This, however, wasn't then.
"Oh well, we won't get much sparring done, anyways," Jace agreed, with a laugh, leaning in to kiss the corner of Alec's mouth.
Jace shivered when Alec kissed his skin like that, fingers tugging gently on Alec's hair, just really liking the chance to scrape his fingernails over Alec's scalp and feel the the thick waves with his fingers. "No one's fault, I don't think. Just... how we grew up, is all." Ragnor had a point about Nephilim being repressed, probably.
"I mean, to him, we might all be." He shook his head. "You offered me that stuff to read. You did not paste the pamphlet to my head until I agreed to read it, or you'd tell it to me in person," Jace griped. He nodded towards his device. "Been looking things up on my own now anyways." Angel knew the City was more than willing to provide him with lots of sex advice.
He hissed in a breath as Alec slid his hand under Jace's shirt, touching the bond rune, making him shiver. "Best Alec," he said, but it was less joking now, more sincere. "Yours, always," he said as Alec traced the rune. "Soul to soul."
Alec made a little pleased sound as Jace scratched fingers over his scalp. "How we grew up," he agreed. "Do you think you'd have told me, if we weren't parabatai?" he asked. "I almost backed out because I knew," he admitted. "But I thought it was as close as I could get to you, and the best way for me to keep you safe. So I went ahead with it anyway."
He laughed again. "He pasted it to your head? And I DID offer to look at it with you. I just didn't make it a threat," he said. Alec made a thoughtful sound. "Just be careful. Stuff doesn't stay up if the city doesn't approve of it, and the city's idea of what's okay and what really is probably isn't the same. Ask Magnus if you're not sure."
Alec smiled. "Only Alec you know," he said. But he leaned in and kissed Jace, slow and deep. "Yours too," he murmured against Jace's lips.
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